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Category: thoughts

  • Smoking

    Why do people smoke. Lets see… release stress? “the in-thing”? machoness ? habits ? This are all the implication we can think off. Being once where I was one too, as an experience, it’s a little of all those mention mixed like a little cocktail.

    Yes, indeed it’s blatantly bad for health, but what make a smoker ticks? Even with government enforcing by stamping those hideous pictures of the affect of inhaling 4000 different kinds chemicals. This does not stop a smoker to put a stick into their mouth for a puff.

    A smoker told me “that picture is bullcrap, people has been smoking for ages and dont see any drastic affect as to the picture preaches” I highly agree to that too, the picture is just too much to warn off smokers.

    anyway there isn’t any end to this dilemma but for those who are curious to try it. the a piece of advice, don’t get hooked on it.

  • Love

    There’s a difference between being in a relationship, and being in love.

    I mean, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that you love them or they love you. Why do you think people cheat? To really love someone, you have to spare some of your times to talk to them, listen to them, pay attention to them, show them that you care, you have to sacrifice some things to be with them and to keep them, and you must really understand them.

     There are so many ways to define love. To me, caring and understanding each other is loving each other. Love is when their happiness matters more than your own, because love is selfless, not selfish. People always saying that trust is love. To be honest, I never really believe that.

    People say, “Trust takes years to build, but seconds to break.” So if the person you’re dating destroyed your trust, does that mean that you don’t love them anymore, just like that? Well, no. That’s not right. Love is about being in the middle of the thunderstorm and come out still holding hands. Don’t let your love end without a fight cause if you did, then that just means you’ve never really loved that person nor that person had never really loved you.

    Every problem, fight and argument you two have, use them to make your love stronger. When you’re sad or mad, hurt and crying, don’t blame it on love. Because it is not love that hurts you, it is the person you love that is who that hurts you. We all know that there is no such thing a perfect relationship, but there is such thing as true love.

    – If I was to ask you what do you love, your answers will most likely roll of your tongue. You’ll say you love to write, you love to draw, you love to read, you love birds, music, dance, you love your mom, you love your dad, brother, sister, your wife, your husband, your son, daughter, your best friend…. How long do you think you can go on and on before you say “I love myself”.

  • Thought for Days

    Pure and Gentle
    Success is merged in every step of those who have a pure and gentle nature.

    Diamond Consciousness
    When you look at the world through your physical eyes, you will see all the facets of our diversity: culture, race, personality, religion and so on. Seeing only through your physical eyes, it is easy to become stubborn and to try to prove yourself right. However where there is stubbornness there is no love. And trying to prove the self right is equally offensive. A diamond will sparkle even in the dust; you do not ever need to prove that you are right. In the face of the dangers that come from seeing only with the physical eyes, always think: now is the time to go beyond all divisions, beyond all that limits us and our sense of self. Whatever the race, the religion, the class – our consciousness now has to go beyond all of that.

    Being Comes Before Doing
    We spend most of our life running after things, doing things. We forget that being comes before doing. Those who remember this secret make an effort to “be” and discover that when they stop and observe, life helps and brings whatever is needed. Learning to be is learning to be at peace. It is our most fundamental nature.

    Self-Respect
    Experience the bliss of Self-Respect and give respect to others at all times. When I am prejudiced against another, my narrow vision and small heart lower my self-dignity and self-worth.

    Courage
    Courage is taking a step forward into an area of difficulty without a solution in mind, trusting that whatever help you need will become available.

    Notice the Difference
    Replace the words “I have to” with “I choose to” and notice the difference in how you feel.

    Readiness
    Worrying about how everything will get done or whether i am capable of doing it limits my ability to respond to challenges considerably. The less I think about doing something, the faster I just get on with it, the fewer problems I cause myself. Good planning is always helpful, but time spent fretting and just procrastinating is a major drain on my energy. The more willing I am to respond positively to opportunities the more my capacity will grow.

    Vibrations
    With your own vibrations of peace and happiness, give everyone else the experience of happiness and comfort.

    Choices
    Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.

    Lotus Life
    The lotus is a symbol of purity. Its roots are in the mud, but the flower remains above dirty water. Live a lotus life. Be in the world, but unaffected by impurities.

    The Happiness You Give
    The happiness you give makes you more happy than the happiness you receive.

    Manage Emotions
    When the energy of our consciousness is out of our control – the mind is agitated. We are being emotional. The solution is to detach from the inner storms, stand back and observe the hurricane pass. Detached observation withdraws the energy which your emotions require to sustain themselves. When you watch your own anger, it dies. If you don’t detach from it, and observe it …it will be your master.

    Honest Heart
    An honest heart is an open heart. If we are dishonest in any way with ourselves or with others, it means we are in hiding. There is a wall, a barrier behind which we conceal something of ourselves. Subtle tension will be our companion, and while most of us learn to live with it, it drains our energy and tightens our muscles. On the other hand don’t be too honest with others – feel their pulse – sometimes others are not ready to hear what’s in your heart. But know that when you are honest you will experience a level of inner relaxation that you had forgotten was even possible.

    Learn To Create Love
    If I limit the love I give to just one or two, it will eventually go stale. If I learn to create love inside my heart and silently give it to everyone I meet, love will grace every corner of my life.

    Power of Silence
    In order to remain constantly happy transform bad things into something good with the power of silence.

    Flow Of Life
    When I generate kind and optimistic thoughts, my life begins to flow.

    Members of a Great Family
    Values are related to each other as if they were members of a great family . From peace and happiness emerges inner joy. From this state of wholeness love awakens and with is the desire to share and give . Two of its relatives are tolerance and respect. All values have a shared origin which unites them – the peace of spirituality. When you lose peace you begin to lose everything.

    Creating a Peaceful Character
    To be peaceful you have to see yourself as a peaceful being. It means to think about being peaceful. It means that you have to be able to be able to describe it in words. You must be capable of experiencing the feelings you would have if you reached that peaceful state. Now believe in it. If you feel it, it’s real. Simply work on it and keep it uppermost in your mind. Make it yours and it will become your natural behaviour.

    Compassion
    A compassionate person develops an eye for spotting the qualities that make each person special. Even when others are at their lowest ebb, it is possible to help them restore their self-belief by keeping a firm, clear vision of their goodness and specialities. Taking a gently encouraging approach, I must never give up on anyone.

    A Moment Of Solitude
    When I start the day with a moment of solitude and contemplation, even the most crowded schedule runs more smoothly.

    Work Well
    Work is only work if you prefer to be somewhere else. Work tends to be a negative perception of a task which we reluctantly approach. Work is only labour when we forget to see our life as it truly is – an opportunity to be creative, enrich others and be enriched ourselves. When we are able to see work in this way, we find something called enthusiasm inside. When we are enthusiastic we work well and we are valued. We are used as a role model. When we work well it is much easier to say no when we need to, for we know our own value, and we are not dependent on others’ approval to feel good about ourselves. When we put love and enthusiasm into what we do, it rebounds in the form of opportunities and blessings, two of the most important ingredients of a truly wealthy life.

    Mind Matters
    The most important part of you is your mind (not your brain – the brain is the hardware and the mind creates the software). Care for your mind, make friends with it, always feed it healthy food, engage it in positive activity, exercise it with knowledge and wisdom. Like a garden returns fragrance and beauty according to the care invested, so your mind will repay you with thoughts, ideas and visions of great beauty when tended and invested with care. Your mind is not made of matter but it does matter what you give it and what you create with it. Where your mind goes, you go. What your mind creates becomes your destiny.

    Spirituality versus Science
    Science can tell why a rose is red, but not why it is beautiful. Beauty belongs to the realm of spirituality.

    Vibrations
    With your own vibrations of peace and happiness, give everyone else the experience of happiness and comfort.

    Power To Tolerate
    You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence. It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom so ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care – all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving. And, as you do, you will experience your own self-esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.

    The Best Language For Communication
    Silence is the best language for communication. It helps us understand and realise the eternal truths about the self, God and the world. In silence we are able to comprehend and express sincerely and powerfully the true values of the soul such as peace, love and joy. Silence is not the absence of thoughts but it is a state in which the mind is engaged in pure elevated thoughts that nuture these values within. The power of silence develops all mental and spiritual powers that are needed to tackle various situations successfully.

    Resource Full
    We each have the three energies we need to learn to manage – spirit, mind and body. All three need a good diet – body needs pure food (vegetarian), your mind needs positive ideas and images, and the spirit that you are needs time in silence and stillness to refresh and renew. These are our resources, and each one needs topping up, otherwise we run on empty and dis – ease comes to visit. But diet is just the beginning. Coming soon… exercise!.

    Family & Friends
    It’s often said that charity begins at home. So let me first give respect to my family and friends.
    Words Colour Our Behaviour.
    Words! They are all around me! I see them. I use them. Harsh words, soothing words, biting words; words that give pain and sorrow; words that give joy and pleasure. They are vital to communication. When words are spoken there are reactions, negative or positive. Either thoughts are triggered or emotions fired or actions performed. Words colour our behaviour. And how lovely it is to hear words that are calm and free from rancour and aggression. To hear words that lift the soul and leave it with renewed vigour. Such words come from always seeing the best in people and situations.

    Busy People
    We live in the age of ‘busy’. Busy people not only do a lot, they think a lot. Being lost in thought, is not only tiring and a brilliant way of waste energy, it’s as if we have forgotten the very ground of our being which is still and silent. Learn to meditate and turn the eye of your attention and awareness within, let your mind be quiet and allow your being to be still.

    All Will Be Well
    Amidst the earthquakes of unexpected situations, the hurricanes of unreasonable behaviour, when fortune strikes against me, I will remain unmoved, knowing that finally all will be well.

    Exploring Silence
    Human beings often think about things that don’t concern them and about other people. When you think a lot you will use the word ‘why’. To become silent means to emerge wisdom from within. To move into dead silence means to go beyond the consciousness of the physical body. This is a very wonderful experience for the soul, it empowers and refreshes the soul.

    Comparison with Others
    Comparing yourself with others will leave you vulnerable on three counts: you’ll either feel inferior, superior or impressed. All three of these states are dangerous because they all disregard the underlying principle of our true connection with each other – mutual love and regard, based on independently generated self-esteem. To protect yourself from this vulnerability, make sure that your attention remains turned within, towards the spiritual experience of pure pride. Staying centred in your elevated self-respect will help you remain undisturbed by others around you. Keep asking yourself, “Who am I?” “How would my spiritual personality respond to this event or person?” this will help to centre you further, and allow you to enjoy the successful efforts of others.

    Happiness
    Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey. Happiness is not tomorrow, it is now. Happiness is not a dependency, it is a decision. Happiness is what you are, not what you have.

    Coolness
    Maintaining a state of inner calmness protects me from becoming a slave to my emotions. It also helps me to keep a cool head when I see others becoming heated or angry. Coolness is not to be distant or uncaring; rather it requires that I develop the deeply caring nature of a peacemaker and serve others in the best possible way.

    Being Kind
    Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.

    Truth and Good Manners
    The sign of truth is having good manners. If you have the power of truth, you should never leave your good manners behind. You may prove the truth, but do it with good manners. The sign of good manners is humility and the sign of a lack of good manners is being stubborn. When your words and activity are based on good manners, you will receive success.

    Think Eternity
    Life experiences are like sentences – we are always looking for the full stop, the conclusion. It’s OK to end a train of thought, but not thought itself. Thoughts are like the magic carpet, on which the soul rides across eternity – in reality, there are no endings, no conclusions. Rest for the spirit (which is what we are) is when we allow only the current of the purest thoughts to flow through our mind – thoughts which carry good wishes and blessings for ourselves and others. This is not so much going with the flow, as being in the flow, and refreshed by the flow. For when we have powerful, positive thoughts for and about others, who experiences them first?

    Wisdom
    The essence of wisdom is using what we know and confessing to what we do not know.

    Heart Song
    Everyone has a song in their heart. Everyone has a reason for being here and a season for making their highest, greatest most auspicious contribution. No one knows what that is or when that is for anyone else. Only our own heart knows what and when it is for us. Your heart wants to sing. Don’t die with your music still within you. There is a reason for everything and a purpose to your life. Too many fail to listen to the song in their heart and therefore fail to find their purpose and their part. What makes your soul sing and your heart dance? Actually you heart is your soul and you are both! Ask this one question of yourself but don’t be in a hurry to answer it. Live in the question for a day, a week, a month. Let it invite your heart to speak to you. And when you are absolutely sure what your heart is saying is true then begin to invoke the changes necessary in your life so that you live in alignment with your song. Be patient with this.

    Sweetness
    Sweetness is the mastery of the senses. Eyes that see to the back of things, ears that hear to the heart of things, lips that speak only the essence of things. Sweetness is the result of a long journey inward to the core of life and the ability to rest there and watch.

    Create Continuously
    Every day is an opportunity to be creative – the canvas is your mind, the brushes and colours are your thoughts and feelings, the panorama is your story, the complete picture is a work of art called, ‘my life’. Be careful what you put on the canvas of your mind today – it matters.

    Soul’s Original Qualities
    To be controlled by anger is to repress the soul’s original qualities of tolerance and love.

    Gentleness
    If trees had souls, the quality most attributable to them would be gentleness. Gentleness is not a lack of strength but a quality which doesn’t disturb, doesn’t push, yet knows its power and can provide shelter. There are souls who are like tress, enormous in their thinking and yet completely gentle.

    Greater Success in Cooperation
    If you think you can do something alone, either because you don’t trust others to do it or because you feel you are the most qualified…
    * you will always be busy doing everything,
    * you will be unhappy with others because they are not doing what you want,
    * you will be dissatisfied.
    It is more effective to invest your time in training and developing others. There is greater success in cooperation

    Greatly Prosperous
    To be ignorant of the knowledge of limited desires is to become greatly prosperous.

    Summer’s End
    Summer – it’s a time of abundance, to enjoy the summer sun, flowers and fruits … but, summer, like everything else, doesn’t last forever. If summer was forever, all the energy and potential would reach its limits and inertia would set in. And so slowly but surely, the cycle turns; everything moves on. Everything has its own time; its own season. Remember, the end of something good, means the start of something also good. All you have to do is be connected and in tune with the natural flow of nature’s energies.

  • Common Relationship Problems

    Something interesting i’ve stumbled upon as below:-

    The biggest relationship mistake i see young men make is thinking that “women are this way” from all the stupid “forever alone”, “hey aren’t girls crazy, and “hey listen to this story about my crazy girlfriend” stories that float around.
    Here’s the straight scoop. There is a woman who will love playing video games with you. There is a woman who loves sports. Hell there is a woman who loves polka if that’s what you’re into. Don’t get stuck in the trap of believing “what girls are like” and accepting someone who doesn’t mesh with you based on this foolish common “knowledge”.
    If you don’t want to be forced to watch sex and the city, find a woman who’s not interested in sex and the city, or one who is but who respects that you aren’t. Don’t want to go shopping? Tell your woman or find one who doesn’t want to drag you along.
    Many of the problems i hear guys complaining about could be easily fixed by finding someone who actually shares their interested instead of the first hot body that catches their eye, or by putting their foot down at the beginning of the relationship. Don’t pretend you like things you don’t, don’t go out of your way to pretend you’re someone you’re not, just be you and find someone who enjoys what you do.
    I think this is the secret to happiness in relationships.

    ——————————————————————————————

    The biggest relationship mistake I see young women make is thinking that “men will become the way I want” from all the stupid romantic comedies and TV dramas that float around.
    Here’s the straight scoop. There is a man who will fulfill your dreams. If the guy you’re with isn’t that man at this moment, then he will never be. Stop stringing him along and holding him to your standards. Even if he starts doing the things you want him to, he will resent you for only appreciating how you define him, not how he defines himself. And you will be unsatisfied that he caved and made the changes to keep you, rather than because he’s a self-respecting, confident man who knows who he is.
    Many of the problems I hear girls complaining about could be easily fixed by finding someone who actually does the things that she wants him to do, rather than pretending that her guy will do them some day… eventually. Stop trying to mold your man into something he’s not. If you can’t appreciate him the way he is break up with him. Do the both of you a favor and stop wasting his time. Then focus on finding someone who already fits the mold.
    In essence, respect yourself for who you are, and respect the one you’re with for who she/he is.
    I think this is the secret to happiness in relationships.

    i loled

    Guys are generally driven by logic and thus try to “fix” any problems in a logical manner. We are all emotion driven creatures. Yes men too. But trying to tackle something illogical as love in a logical manner usually results in undesirable results.

    An example of this is when say your SO is having a bad day. She tells you about how her friend is backstabbing her or her parents are being unfair. A guy would take the “if you don’t want to get wet, don’t go out in the rain” approach. Meaning guys would say something like, “Well don’t hang out with that friend anymore, or your parents are right not being unfair”. Whether or not it’s the truth is irrelevant. Girls don’t tell you about their problems because they want solutions, but rather a person that will listen to them and take their side. This is something that took me a long time to get. You can discuss after the emotions have cooled down (days after) to say something like, “You don’t need friends like that” or “maybe your parents had a good point”. But when they tell you something, just be a good listener and take their side. Don’t try to “fix” it. Just listen.

    It’s been said many times here, but communication is the key. Never assume anything. Don’t try to read between the lines, because often, those are made up in your head. Every time I assume something, I remember this: Assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME. I know in my 9 year relationship, we both could have saved a lot of heartache and strife if we just communicated better.

  • Food for thoughts


    Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.
    We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.
    Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes:

    “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.”
    There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful.

    1. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.

    2. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control, instead of dwelling on things you can’t.

    3. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.

    4. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

    5. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.

    6. Take responsibility. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong—which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.

    7. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes; and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.

    8. Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside.

    9. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.

    10. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

    11. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.

    12. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”

    13. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again it will be easier to move on.

    14. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.

    15. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.

    16. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”

    18. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”

    19. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought.

    20. Use a deep breathing technique, like ujayii, to soothe yourself and seep into the present moment.

    21. Consider this quotation by Eckhart Tolle: “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” Questioning how your stress serves you may help you let it go.

    22. Use it up. Make two lists: one with the root causes of your stress, and one with actions to address them. As you complete these tasks, visualize yourself utilizing and depleting your “stress supply.”

    23.Learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. Dr. Phil tells a man who’s having a hard time letting women back into his life: “Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong.

    24.How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections.” Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next.

    25.If you’re playing the game with sweaty palms, it’s because you’re afraid of what you can or can’t do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it’s not about the other person.

    26.Know that you will get hurt if you’re in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner.

    27.He’s going to hurt your feelings. He’s going to say things that you don’t want him to say. He’s going to do things you wish he wouldn’t do and not do things you wish he would do.

    28.A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ”I’d rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone.”

    29.If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.

    30.Don’t beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you’ve learned from it, and now it’s time to move forward.

    31.”You’ll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past … Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way.”

    32.Focus on yourself. All of us come into relationships with baggage, but you need to have closure on past experiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor.

    33.Are your standards too low? Dr. Phil asks a guest who’s waiting around for a man that’s let her down time and again: “What is it about you that causes you to settle for somebody that you know will cheat on you, know will lie to you, know will make a commitment and then break it? What is it about you that you believe about yourself that you’re willing to settle for that?”

    34.Recognize that you’re settling and that you deserve more. Set a higher standard for yourself.

    35.Does he really even make you happy? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he’s really meeting your needs.

    36.Chances are you’re longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was.

    37.”There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things.And then you’re back with them for about 10 minutes and you go ‘Oh yeah! Now I remember why I hate you!’” Don’t kid yourself about what it was really like or glorify the past.

    38.Don’t put your life on hold. Every minute you spend focusing on your ex is a minute that’s holding you back from a better future.

  • Obsession

    Why does one get this kinda symptom? is it a mere emotional changes between your mental state of mind thinking and your rational behavior mix into one. Or maybe, it is just how certain humans are born is such way that, they will have this strong sense of action…

    Let’s take a few steps back to overview such doing and figure out why does it occurring on daily basis. First of all, when someone is in need of that certain object, he/she will find his/her way into obtaining it. This is good to understand that, most of us pretty much don’t realize how much of an obsession person we are till we actually sit down a moment to review our intentions.
    To me, obsession is quite on the verge of being negative attitude and emotion forward. greed, possessiveness, jealously, envy, selfish and a few others comes into my mind. Even if there are still all the bad sides of its wheel of nature, I do find a small quantity value of determination.
    So for others, what do you think obsession means to you ?